how is this a thing?

October 23, 2017

So, someone put out a tweet asking why consent violators and rapists are allowed in the scene at all, let alone allowed to come to major events. Hell, they’re usually invited. Was an exasperated, semi-rhetorical tweet (because, WTF, right? Should be a no-brainer), but there are actually lots of reasons.

-compiled from my tweets-

  •  Because the scene makes it easy for them to hide. Scene names and sock puppet Fetlife profiles allow them to be stealthy.
  •  Because the Fetlife TOU doesn’t allow us to name them.
  •  Because they are friends of people who run and promote events.
  •  Because they ARE people who run and promote events.
  •  Because they have knowledge people deem more valuable (rope gods, etc.) than the well-being of the victims.
  •  Because they are privileged and wealthy, and have high prestige and social capital.
  •  Because they sue victims for speaking out, thus sowing fear in others, and silencing them.
  •  Because they are friends with others who are respected, and who defend them.
  •  Because people don’t BELIEVE VICTIMS.
  •  Because people blame victims.
  •  Because people silence victims.
  • Because victims internalize what other people say, and then blame and silence themselves out of fear and/or shame.
  •  Because upholding their reputation in the scene has been deemed to be more important than the well-being of victims.
  •  Because people think that “that’s not my experience with this person” counts as absolution.
  •  Because when people speak up and say “yo, this person has a history of being problematic” they’re beaten down at every turn.

addition, via @GPJones:

  •  “Because we are all products of a patriarchal, racist, misogynistic, unsafe society and that gets replicated in the spaces we create. The scene is a product of as much as a reaction to society.” As my mom would say: SELAH.
  •  Because privileged people want to have their fun sexy permissive utopia, but don’t want to do the work to make it SAFE for people who have less privilege than they do.