26 (Winter Fire)

February 24, 2011

Hello, loyal readers (all three of you)! It’s been a while, but i hadn’t had much to say for a bit because… well, nothing was really going on. But since then, i’ve come out as pansexual (to an accepting group of people) gotten a new job (freelance), and attended an amazing BDSM/Sex event by the name of Dark Odyssey: Winter Fire.

(To protect the innocent, and the not so innocent, all names have been changed to Street Fighter pseudonyms. Also, there is generous use of gender neutral pronouns including ze, hir and them/they.)

Now, it was my first kink event, and i’d been out of the scene for about five years, so i was nervous for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that i was sharing a room with my friend Remy, on whom i’ve had a crush for the LONGEST time. Also, i always have this feeling that i’m “not enough” for any group or situation. I went into this one thinking that my measly sensation play kinks weren’t enough for these hardcore kinksters. So i was totally setting myself up for failure. 😛

Despite the fact that this was my first event, i’d gotten it into my head that it was a good idea to try have my own little party/playdate/whatever. I’ve been bellydancing for the last four months and i figured that if there was anywhere in the world where a male bellydancer would be accepted in a social setting, it would be at a gender-queer friendly kink event. I’m not going to talk to much about that, because it’s actually the least important thing that happened (or rather, kinda didn’t) but it was ok, i guess.

Anyway, i’d stayed at Remy’s apartment the night before the first day so that we could travel down together; it was his first event as well, so there was nervousness all around. My wife and i had talked about what could go on, and she expected me to do a lot of playing, and having a lot of sex. Honestly i was skeptical, mostly because i’m generally a very shy person. Couple that with the fact that i don’t know ANYONE at this event (save for the online messaging with people i was planning to meet), and i personally did not feel that there was going to be much sexing. On the train to DC, i made the conscious decision to erase my expectations entirely.

Wisest. Decision. EVER.

So we arrived at the event hotel, met up with the rest of our roommates, got settled, and i went to my first class, appropriately titled: Dark Odyssey 101. Basically an orientation class; went over event etiquette, and especially pronoun etiquette. The are a lot of people who attend these events who are trans-gender, gender-queer, etc, who do not identify with the pronouns one might expect, even if you think you know what you’re talking about. So, me being a person who is cis and considers himself generally clueless, this helped. At said class, one of the people who i’d been messaging with on Fetlife, Cammy, sat down next to me and we actually met each other face to face. She is very personable as well as very pretty; we greeted each other with smiles and we started chatting like old friends.

After grabbing a bite to eat i decided to dress up a bit, go to the Cabaret Social and check out the playspaces with Remy and his friend Q. We ended up splitting a bit while seeing many things (including but not limited to fire cupping, cbt, needle play, caning, wax play, clothespins, and plenty of things that i saw but could not fully comprehend), but i think we all had about the same reaction to it all, which Remy summed up very well when we ran into each other again in the Sex-o-Rama room: “Ok, i’m officially overwhelmed.” He then made a quick exit.

I soon followed suit and caught up with Cammy. Turns out the back injury she’d aggravated about four weeks prior was acting up and she wanted to chill out, so we went up to her room and i gave her a back massage (which seemed to help) and then she went to bed. After everything i’d seen, i was ready to crash too.

The next morning, Cammy and i had planned to go to a few of the classes together, but the presenter had apparently fallen ill and was unable to attend the event, so said classes were cancelled. I decided to go to a class called “Being a Sexual Initiator.” It turned out to be a very interesting class, about what it means for you and for others when you are someone’s first time (at anything). So, if, for instance if you are someone’s first homosexual experience, and you want to not spoil the very idea of gay sex for them, you have an obligation to make it a very pleasurable experience for them. The presenter went into how one can be an effective initiator, and discussed with the class our own experiences as initiators and initiates. Very cool class. I emailed the presenter so I could get his notes.

After this, i had my little bellydance meet-up. That didn’t go well, but I know how to fix that for future events.

Cammy, for her own reasons, was having a rough go of things, so we decided to go up to her room and cuddle until she had to be ready for her fetish prom date. We laid in bed wrapped around each other, watching James Bond and Law & Order. I gave her another back massage, and we relaxed for another hour or so. Have I mentioned that I like cuddling? It’ll come into play later. Anyway, we got up and got her dressed for prom (during which I learned how to lace a corset, which is interesting). She met up with her date, and I changed into a different belly dance outfit for the evening. I hung out in the “champagne room” for a bit, met up with Juni (another Fetlifer whom I’d been messaging), watched some fairly hot pole dancing, then caught up with Cammy again and went back to her room to chill. Lots of fun conversation was had with her and her friends (including a blowjob alongside said convo between said friends), and they convinced me to show them some bellydancing. I was a little nervous, of course, because I haven’t been doing it for that long, but I picked a short song with a sensual beat and did a quick ATS improv. To my surprise and delight, they applauded and complimented me! Yay! Successful first very small-scale performance! We chatted about bellydance in general for a little longer and then I kissed Cammy goodnight and went to bed.

As a precursor to relating the rest of the story, I feel I should add this: Remy and Q had been generally hanging with each other the entire weekend up to this point. I’d seen them cuddling and making out and I was feeling really jealous, but I decided to remain chill about it since Q was only in town for the weekend. It made sense to me that they wanted to make the most of their time together. The only time Remy and I got to hang out a little bit was at the Cabaret Social on friday night, where i gave Remy a little stroke/pet/skritch on the back of his neck. I didn’t have to like the fact that i was being a bit excluded, but I had to deal with it. So with that going on, it was really good that Cammy and I were connecting; we were both dealing with some emotional things, so we basically comforted each other.

So, jealous, a little emotional, but dealing with it. Ok? Ok. On to Sunday.

My first order of business this day was actually to leave the event and go see a couple of long-time friends of mine in Alexandria. That ended up being a fun, though slightly tiring excursion, and it was great to see them. Upon returning, I attended a class, aptly (in light of my emotions this weekend) titled “Making Peace with Jealousy.”

Another good class. Main crux of it was that honest, measured, thoughtful communication is key in poly relationships even more so than in mono relationships because of the fact that dealing with the emotions of more than one person is just that much more complicated. Also, that jealousy can be and is often based in some kind of fear, so being honest with oneself about that emotion is extremely important when dealing with it. Good stuff. Got those notes too.

Met up with Cammy once again in the hotel lobby and had some fun conversation (including a really funny bit with a dom about subs/bottoms/masochists who claim to have “no limits”). Afterward Cammy and i went back upstairs for one more costume change for her. She says she was going for a “fetish Judy Jetson” look, and my old cosplay mind kicked in and i started talking about how she could have stayed closer to the original color scheme and still kept the fetish look. She kind of glared at me for that. 😛 After lacing her up again, when thanking me for helping her out, she used the old comment “it’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it.” I replied that i could have stood for it to be a little dirtier, actually. When she asked me why i hadn’t mentioned that earlier, i simply replied that since she wasn’t in the correct head space to play with a relative stranger, i wasn’t about to push things. Also, i’m kinda “service oriented” anyway, so i was rather content to be what she needed that weekend, which was, apparently, a cuddly assistant.

After seeing her off once again, i went back to my room to nom on my leftovers from lunch. Upon my arrival, i saw many people getting ready to leave for the drag ball, including, of course, Remy and Q. Remy encouraged me to get dressed up one more time and meet him down there; it was the last night after all, we should have fun with it. I put on a modified version of my bellydance outfit (with slightly less metal for comfort) and went on down. The drag ball itself was a lot of fun and apparently my outfit was a big hit, because a couple of the performers made a point of dancing with me, and i got a lot of compliments. Afterward, there was supposed to be a dance party, but that didn’t really happen, because there were more people interested in doing suspension scenes. Remy and the rest of us decided to go down to the champagne room again, to see what good music might be playing there. On the way, he mentioned that i owed him some more skritches from before.

Once in the champagne room, a scene similar to the previous night appeared before us. At this point Q took off for a minute for reasons unknown to me, and Remy and i were left standing in a somewhat awkward silence. I asked if he’d like to have a seat so i could continue with my skritches, and he replied in the affirmative, so i looked for an open couch. Q returned right about then, so the three of us found an empty couch and sat down in a little cuddly threesome. Remy and Q started making out again, at which point a couple of other people, Makoto and Rose made their appearance. Seems that Makoto had been looking for Remy since earlier that day, and Rose was kind of along for the ride. Makoto asked to join into our little cuddle pile and soon we were a cuddly groping mass of horny humanity. We got up and switched positions a couple of times; one of those times, Makoto and Remy started kissing, and stayed that way for many minutes. Watching them was honestly a GREAT deal different for me than watching Remy with Q. Didn’t fill me with the same kind of jealousy; when Remy was with Q i definitely felt a bit angry and bitter. When he was with Makoto… i still felt left out, but they had such an incredible chemistry together that mostly all i could think of was how nice that must have felt. Maybe it’s because i felt no attraction or chemistry with Q, but I did with Makoto? Bears examining.

Anyway, while they were getting to know each other i was getting pretty close with Rose, and the chemistry with hir was quite strong. Makoto and Remy eventually sat back down, next to me and in my lap, respectively, and continued to kiss while i watched intently. At some point in this Makoto kissed me, which was pretty nice. After a few minutes, Remy looked at me.

And we kissed.


And it was exquisite.

The kiss went on for a little while and he broke it to ask me: “We’ve never kissed before, have we?”

“No, we haven’t.” I breathlessly replied.

“I thought you were no longer interested.”

“Oh no, i definitely always have been… i’m just awkward, and shy.”

This prompted an all around high-five for awkward and shy people. Or, if you prefer, a shy-five. Then we were back to kissing.

Makoto suggested that we should adjourn to the Sex-o-Rama room to find a bed so we could stretch out, as the couch made things a touch uncomfortable. We went in, found a spot and Makoto suggested a game of “pass the altoid,” which i guess might have been an attempt to make things more egalitarian, as some of us were definitely only focused on one person or another. It was during this game that i got to kiss Rose for the first time (which was awesome) and Q (which was very not awesome; we have no chemistry whatsoever and that confirmed it). Also during this game i cheated a bit to make sure i got to kiss who i wanted for longer, by cheeking the altoid so it wouldn’t dissolve as fast as it surely would have with all the tongueplay going on.

After the game, we settled into a nice pile; i was on top of Rose, and Remy was on top of Makoto. Q was in the middle, focusing on Remy, but as far as i could tell, ze wasn’t getting much play. Whatever, i was diggin’ on Rose. I kissed hir all over; when i sucked hir nipples in my mouth, the reaction was pretty hot. At some point ze mentioned to me that ze doesn’t make out with very many guys. I replied “neither do i” which, in retrospect was probably not the best thing to say, but ze grinned at it, so i didn’t think much about it and went back to kissing.

Remy and i both came up for air at the same time, and then started making out with each other. I’m not sure how long this went on (nor do i care, it was AWESOME) but an event monitor came and gave a 15 minute warning; they were closing down the room, so everyone had to clear out. We decided to head back to the hotel room. Once there, the pile resumed.

While we were making out, Rose ran hir hands all over my back and i groaned with pleasure, mentioning that my back never gets anywhere near enough attention. Taking that as a hint, ze decided to give me a full on back massage even using hir hair and breath for stimulation. SO. GOOD. Turned out that Rose was also very service oriented, and decided to massage everyone else’s feet and legs as well. At this point we found out that ze also has a foot fetish.

Rose eventually had to leave the rest of us due to an early morning bus ride, though not without us trying to keep hir with us as long as possible. But soon it was down to the four of us, and Makoto had us all getting further undressed, which nobody had a problem with, despite the fact that we were keeping all of our activity above the waist. The chemistry between them and Remy was still off the CHAIN, and Q was pretty disconnected for some reason, to the point where ze decided to crash on the floor, leaving just us three. Makoto’s bra came off, and we double teamed them, nuzzling, suckling and pinching their breasts and nipples with great enthusiasm. This went on for some time, but soon we were all becoming very, simply physically, tired.

Q came back to Remy’s bed, and i went back to mine (though i would have preferred the opposite, of course) and we crashed out, and slept REALLY late.

The next day was a hurried mix of packing and checking out of the hotel (and of course lots of fetlife friending), but that didn’t stop Remy and Makoto from snogging a bit more (or a lot more) before finally parting ways so that we could ride home with our other (never before mentioned in this blog entry) hotel roommate, Karin (who was getting a little annoyed at the snogging). Karin drives HARD, btw. The ride home was fast, and i’m pretty sure that with a lesser driver there were at least 7 situations where we could have had an accident. With multiple fatalities.

When we dropped Remy off back at his apartment, i helped him out, carrying his large and rather awkward bag up to his place and retrieving my milk and cereal. That’s not any kind of euphemism, btw, when i stayed there before we left, i had milk and cereal with me and i left it in his fridge. But of course that’s not the most important reason i went up.

We were alone in the apartment (with exception of Remy’s dog) and we took advantage of the situation, hugging and kissing with a bit of abandon. Multiple times we paused and said a variation on “we should stop” but we didn’t actually stop yet. Eventually we parted, promising to make plans for later.

So, yes, a good weekend with a GREAT finish. I look forward to future events, and i definitely look forward to getting back together with Remy.

3 Responses to “26 (Winter Fire)”

  1. Remy said

    “Karin drives HARD, btw” I’m so glad I’m not the only one who noticed how HARROWING that drive was. OMG.

    I am sorry about kicking you out of bed. I wish it had been big enough for everyone to actually get sleep in. I couldn’t let Q stay on the floor and hir opportunity-to-see quotient is much lower than yours.

    A great close to the weekend overall, though. 🙂

    Also LOL the barking. XD

    • Yeah, Karin should be a Transporter, or something. :p

      I understand about the bed situation (for that very reason), so it’s no biggie.

      And yes, the barking! Omg so funny. Poor dog. I’ll be sure to pet him up later and try and ingratiate myself to him.

  2. Cammy said

    Sorry it wasn’t dirtier… next time. 🙂

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